Every now and then, it happens.
That absent minded sleep fairy forgets to stop by our house, leaving me with a rough night of ‘sleep’ (or lack there of)
Insomnia likes to think it’s my BFF (and we’re not…not even close)
Last night, it wasn’t just me, but my husband also tossed and turned before finally getting up for the day at 4am. Lights blaring he stomped around the room, pulling on his clothes, walking in and out of our bathroom to do his hair, brush his teeth and whatever other man-morning things that go on in there. I nearly threw a pillow at his head, I had already been awake since the dog woke me at 2am for his nightly ‘backyard wanderings’ and even then I had only had about two hours sleep to begin with.
Oh but unlike my husband, I wasn’t giving up. No way. That bed and I were going to make beautiful dreams together. Even if I had to force the issue!
With hubby finally gone from the room, he was now stomping around the house (He wanted to keep me up at 4am? I made him take out the garbage!) I decided “YES! Whole bed to myself!” I grabbed his pillow, sprawled out in the center of the bed and wrapped myself in the duvet with only my eyes peaking out.
I still couldn’t sleep.
The worst part of insomnia is when your mind starts going into overdrive.
As I laid in bed, trying to desperately ignore the elephants (errrr… Husband) stomping around the house, my mind started to wander…..
My overwhelming to do list kept flashing through my head.
Thoughts about upcoming doctors appointments started to bother me.
I started panicking about if hubby and I would ever be able to plan our somewhat last minute winter escape.
My thoughts turned to past regrets.
I started to worry about how I haven’t really started any of my Christmas shopping…
All these things kept hitting me over and over again and I tossed and turned.
I was trying SO HARD not to pick up my phone and scroll through social media because I knew it would wake me up even more.
By the time my alarm went off at 7am I nearly threw it across the room. (Instead I just mildly cursed and stormed off to wake up the kids…you know, after hitting snooze about four times…..)
I got the kids ready for school and to the bus stop with five minutes to spare, even though I still kept my pajamas on. (Who’s going to see them under my winter coat anyway?)
After they were off to school, I dragged myself through the door said I giant “Screw You” to my elliptical machine (no workout for you!) and marched myself up back to bed.
Whatever Friday. I have no time for you today.
I laid in my bed.
I wrapped myself back up.
I closed my eyes.
Damn you sunshine pouring through my windows. I have no time for you today either!
Those thoughts started to come back one by one. (Nope, not dealing with you again)
Clearly a nap was not what I needed to get through this day. My body and brain were not cooperating. (Those jerks)
It took another fifteen minutes or so to convince myself but I finally dragged my cranky self into the shower. Hoping that the steaming water would wake me up.
As I got out of the shower, still feeling sluggish I finally screamed:
“LORD, WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR ME TO GET THROUGH THE DAY!!??? WHY CAN’T I NAP?? WHAT AM I MISSING??? HELP ME!!!”
I got dressed and headed (possibly even stomped like my husband) into the kitchen, mumbling to myself about how I have all these things to do and no energy to do any of it.
And there it was. The answer to my question. That one thing that I had sleepily overlooked this morning.
My saving grace.
The one thing that had been missing from my morning all along….
The sweet (yet bitter) nectar from the gods.