If the number could stop climbing- That would be great!
Who hasn’t been there?
We put our trust into this rinky-dink contraption, stepping on it in desperation, hoping that the number it spits out is exactly the number we think it should be in our heads.
I stepped on the scale this morning and I was pretty upset. I started cursing- but is it really the scales fault? Should I really be putting my hope into this small invention hell bent on ruining my day?
I like to stay healthy- I like to stay active.
I will admit that like most- since having children, losing weight has been a struggle. It was like some switch was activated after I was pregnant with my first child and ever since I have fought with losing weight. It really is annoying especially since I used to be the girl who could eat everything and anything she wanted without gaining a pound (Funny how that works)
It took me a long time to admit to myself that I was never going to be the skinny little bitch I used to me. Your body changes after you have children- that I can accept- that I can get used to- however this constant battle I seem to be facing trying to lose ‘those extra pesky twenty’ is really driving me bananas.
I will take the stretch marks.
I will accept the curves.
I will NOT accept these extra pounds that I can afford to lose.
While some of it is vanity– the truth is it is also about prevention. I have watched my mother and other relatives and family friends struggle with their health- a lot of things playing havoc with their bodies as they age -some that may have been preventable. I would like to avoid ‘the aging extras’- so I try to keep my weight at a healthy BMI (Which is hard when I am right on that cusp for my height and weight!!!) – I am not perfect- I go through phases where ‘pleasure foods’ creep into my diet and I go through phases when I am extremely healthy. I go through phases where I eat and cook relatively clean and I go through phases where I choose convenience before health because I am exhausted.
I know that most of my problem is me– and some of it is food intolerance’s/inflammation and of course there is my health. I also watch ‘how’ I attempt to lose weight because I am a former bulimic and if there is one thing that has been drilled into me it’s ‘safety first’.
Right now I am extra frustrated. I have gained fifteen pounds since the Fall!!! I know that some of that because of the extra sugar I was consuming- I started using pop (a.k.a-soda- to some of you reading this) and sugary foods as a crutch to help keep me awake and give me energy because I have to watch my coffee/tea intake. I have since weaned myself off and I am back to my ‘water, pure cranberry juice or tea’ regimen- but I will admit that they temptation is still there to drink a pop. I was at an Easter party the other day and shared one with my daughter- I broke the rule since it was a party but I am not allowing it to come back into my home. It has reverted back to a ‘special occasions treat’ and is no longer welcome to walk through my doors.
Since my surgery last month- I have gained five pounds!
I know that a lot of that has to do with bed-rest/inactivity.
I am so frustrated because I like to stay active and due to these Setons and the pain that comes with it- I have to be careful with what I do. Sometimes even the slightest bend the wrong way can cause tremendous pain and irritation- As I have mentioned in previous blogs- we bought a treadmill- and I have been using that when I can- (My max is 40 minutes at a time) and I am hoping to push myself up to doing that twice a day- but right now with pain management I can only handle the 40 minutes on a good day.
Yesterday we drove to a nearby town (Amherstburg, Ontario) and went for a walk by Fort Malden, and down by the river and their quaint little downtown area. I was happy to report that my pain stayed at a minimum and I was able to enjoy our time in the warm weather. It was nice to get out and actually walk outdoors too. (Though I am not going to lie- I enjoy my Netflix binge-watching while I stroll along in the comfort of my own home!)
I am a bit sad that I can’t hop on my bike and ride the trails. I am bummed that even my elliptical trainer isn’t usable and that my Beachbody PiYo DVD has to collect dust for a bit.. (OMG -I LOVE PiYo- If you haven’t you NEED to try it!)….but at least I have my treadmill (and hopefully some modified yoga!) to help me.
Right now I am researching yoga positions and more ways that I can stay active without hurting my healing process and causing pain. I am adjusting my diet yet again- in hopes that by eating relatively clean and focusing on healthy foods- that I can get my weight down so my clothes can fit properly again. It’s a challenge when I am feeling limited in so many ways- but it’s a challenge I am willing to accept. I know I ‘can’ do it- because I have done it before.
I can’t just wait to heal before I do ‘something’!
Consider this post my public accountability. I have blogged it- therefor I shall do something about it. (Ask me in a few weeks ‘how goes it!’)
Hopefully in a month, my dedication and determination will pay off! I can measure my waist and it will be smaller- and my clothes will reflect it. I am going to bust my Fitbit back out so it can track my activity so I can keep a better eye on it.
I am already eyeballing local spin classes for when I am all better- because I know when I am through all the surgeries and all the healing that I will want to celebrate with something new. Why not a new workout too?
I am really trying not to let the number on that scale get me down.
Wish me luck!
In the meantime- enjoy these pictures I took on our walk yesterday. We are having such beautiful Spring weather in southwestern Ontario!
Post Inspired By Today’s Daily Prompt: Climbing
All Photos Taken By Me ©TheyOnceCalledHerPumpkin