As I have mentioned before, my husband is currently living and working six hours away in the country next door. It’s an incredibly stressful living situation and currently our youngest daughter is not handling it very well.
With her well-being in mind, I wasn’t paying too much attention to Mother’s Day this weekend. I didn’t except nor did I plan anything. I knew my husband was going to be home and truth be told- right now? That was the only gift I needed.
Just the other day I tweeted out: I’m so excited my husband will be home today!!! He can do the dishes all weekend!!! 🙂
It turned into a lovely weekend.
My husband was trying everything he could to make life easier for me.
He took over the dishes and chores, mowed and did yard clean up. Took our oldest daughter shopping for things she needed for her upcoming school trip. (He even recorded Saturday Night Live for me since I was so tired that I passed out early- I did NOT want to miss Melissa McCarthy as ‘Spicey’)
Yesterday we took another trip into Amherstburg, Ontario- all for a small lunch, a nice walk along the river front- and some ice cream at the quaint little parlor nearby.
However, even though I knew they were trying to do things for me (Like making sure I wasn’t doing chores all weekend- including meals) I was actually trying to make sure the kids got quality time with their dad. My youngest has been so heartbroken with his absence lately- and I do get to spend so much time with them right now, I need her to spend as much time with her dad as she can.
My youngest jumped ahead of the game and on Friday presented me with the gift she made at school- a flower pot paperweight featuring her favorite Shopkin ‘Kooky Cookie’ and ‘Captain Jack Sparrow’ (because I keep laughing at the video of Johnny Depp taking over the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland- I am so jealous of those people who saw him!)
I love it!
Today I woke up to a coffee from Tim Horton’s on my bedside table.
Yesterday, I had made a comment about how lovely the brightly colored flowering bushes in a garden were and how maybe one day I would find one to plant in our yard- so you can imagine my surprise when I walked into my kitchen to discover my husband had remembered my words and there was this large Hydrangea plant on my counter….. all ready to be planted in my front garden. (I really hope I don’t kill it! I am HORRIBLE at keeping plants alive- fingers crossed for me!)
My children also had a great plan- they took me on a Chapters shopping spree. I was let loose in Chapters for the third week in a row! A dangerous thing for the bank account- yet a glorious feeling for a bibliophile. My ‘To Be Read’ pile is about to tip over from all my trips!
I have been spoiled rotten!
When we returned home from our shopping spree- My little one knew that daddy was leaving soon and went into a panic and tried everything under the sun to make him stay.
He agreed to take her to the park for awhile- even though he knew he wanted to get on the road- six hour drives are never fun. He told everyone to make the washroom trip, sunscreen up and get the dog harnessed for the walk.
Some people may think that is crazy, after all- it is Mother’s Day and technically I ‘should’ be tagging along for all the fun.
Not today though.
It wasn’t about me not wanting to go. It wasn’t about me wanting to stay behind with a book or just to have some quiet time- I honestly just wanted my kids to go have some daddy time and I wanted my husband to have that time with his girls.
I have my mother to thank for this.
My mother is the most thoughtful, kindest and most selfless person I know. Sometimes, I don’t even understand how a person can be so trusting and sweet and I even ask her that once in awhile and she just shrugs and says “That is just me!”
I may be cranky and hardheaded at times. I may be a pain in the ass once in awhile, or come across as a know it all with a bitchy streak- I’m very unlike my mom in a lot of ways- but there are a few qualities of hers I really do try to bring to the table- especially when it comes to my husband and children. After all- she is an amazing mother. I look to her as an example. If I can do things with even half as much love and affection as she gives to everyone she cares about, including my sister and I- I know I am on the right track.
One thing my mom taught me is that it isn’t all about us. There have been times when I have been on her case that she needs to stand up for herself and be a bit more selfish. When I was a teenager and a younger adult- I didn’t get her constant need to make sure I was okay. In my mind I ‘was’ fine and I was old enough not to need my mom. (That my friends- was a complete delusion!)
I never truly realized it until I was pregnant with my first daughter that it really is all about the child. It was like something snapped: “Oh, I get it now……”.
When we become mothers, everything we do is for our children. We pass up opportunities, we make sacrifices, we love our children unconditionally and that at certain times- we need to make sure that the children’s needs are met before our own.
No matter their age.
No matter what.
My girls miss and love their daddy and I love and miss him too. Living apart like this for a long time isn’t ideal and it comes with it’s trials. My little family took the time to spoil me and make sure I had a lovely weekend, and I did- but this afternoon it was my turn to take a page from my own mom’s playbook and thank them by giving them what they needed.
Today wasn’t just about celebrating me as a mother- It was about our family unit as a whole- and you know what?
That is just the way I like it!