“Chrissy Teigen on Depression Criticism”
It was an Yahoo Celebrity article that showed up in my Facebook feed.
The headline immediately captures my attention…
I watched the video tell the story of how Chrissy Teigen (celebrity, model, married to John Legend…come on…you know who she is…) has recently opened up with her battle with postpartum depression after giving birth to her daughter…. and THIS confession apparently led to a backlash! People were actually leaving comments about how she doesn’t ‘look’ like she suffers and saying she was being ‘melodramatic’…
This infuriates me!
I know that Ms. Teigen does not need me to have her back- She is as tough as nails and she certainly has done a great job handling the situation by calling these people out.
However here is my thing…
There are people that DO need me and others to speak up against these kinds of judgments.
It is ridiculous comments like this that are why we need more people like Ms. Teigen to come forward and be upfront with their Mental Health struggles.
We need voices against these stigmas and against these attacks!
Every single person has a story to tell- and EVERY single person has their own demons, their own battles and these things are handled in a way that is unique to the individual.
Who is anyone to ever question how depressed another person is- especially based on how they LOOK or ACT?
For those people who don’t have a great understanding of what depression is like… let me clear something up for you:
Depression doesn’t have ‘a look’.
Suffering from depression- it isn’t always about crying, hiding, wearing sweatpants, not leaving your house, messy hair or whatever other stereotype you want to throw out there…. Those CAN be indications – I have written about them candidly- but that is not ALWAYS the indication.
Some people, after a hard day of work like to throw on sloppy clothes, put their feet up and eat ice cream out of tub and they are just exhausted not depressed …. So why is it so hard to understand that a depressed person can put on a nice outfit, a smile and go forth into the world to try to hide how the feel?
Depression can mean wearing extra make up to hide the circles- Trying to perfect your look to hide behind a mask.
Practicing your smile and laugh so no one notices that it doesn’t meet your eyes.
Pushing feelings down inside of you and amusing everyone with fun anecdotes or taking no prisoners in a business meeting.
Depression can mean getting dressed up in your favorite clothes and hitting the town to drink and party in order to try to drown and dance out the lingering thoughts of wanting to vanish into nothingness.
It can mean making your friends and family laugh constantly and being the life of the party so no one knows you are dying inside.
It can mean lying through your teeth when someone asks you how you are because if you remotely hint that something isn’t right- you may break down right there….
Oh you can have your days where you don’t leave the house, don’t get out of bed… refuse to wash your hair…stare blankly at the wall.
Those days happen and they happen a lot… behind closed doors!!
Unless you are close to a person and have access to their every day lives… you don’t know anything unless they tell you.
You certainly can’t ‘see’ depression on someone who is simply ‘going through the motions’ of living and hiding their pain well!
You certainly can’t expect to know everything about anyone- even a celebrity!
This photo was taken of me on Saturday- right after I had a hair appointment TO CHEER ME UP.
Looking at this photo- would you have any idea that I had been crying for three days straight?
Would you have any idea that I almost cancelled my appointment because I didn’t think that emotionally and physically I could handle it?
Does this look like I was so exhausted from not feeling well that I was trying my best not to crawl into my bed and sleep the rest of the day away?
Would you be able to guess that every day since that photo I have been struggling with keeping my emotions in check?
Depression isn’t always obvious.
Fact: When you tell someone “You are just sad” or “You are being melodramatic” or “You don’t act like you are depressed” – These types of comments are the reason why so many people struggle to admit they have a problem. This is why suicide rates are high. This is why people are afraid to even go see a doctor to be diagnosed and seek help. These comments are part of the problem- not a solution.
This is why I am so candid.
This is why so many wonderful bloggers I know and follow are so upfront about what they go through with their mental health on a daily basis- and if you read their stories- you will find that they are completely every day people- they go to work, they wear these outer masks…they also have heartbreaking stories to tell.
You can’t tell by their photos.
You wouldn’t know they were depressed if you passed them on the street.
We are tired of this stigma.
We are tired of people thinking we’re lazy, dramatic, ‘just sad’, negative or complaining.
The ol’ “Oh it’s all in your head….” insult…. always makes me laugh.
You are right.
It IS in our head.
That is where the brain is located.
The brain is where the chemical imbalances happen.
Where are our fears, anxieties and stress are stored?
In Our Heads- Where Mental Health Happens!
What is in our mind trickles down into our bodies- causing fatigue- causing chronic pain- panic attacks…among other symptoms…
Depression isn’t from the imagination.
Depression is more then sadness and moping around. I can never stress that enough.
It is this unexplainable- sometimes unbearable hurt living within us that we can’t control- Hell -half the time we don’t even understand it! Why us? Why is the hurt there?!
With the right help- it can be managed… but never cured.
The whole point of this post is not just for me to rant about the ignoramuses who trolled Chrissy Teigen…but for me to get a message out to those who may be suffering in silence.
Please do not let anyone ever try to tell you that your emotions don’t matter. Do not let anyone try to tell you that things are ‘in your head’ and make you feel horrible for your story.
They aren’t walking in your shoes or experiencing what you feel.
If you feel like you are suffering from Depression- Please talk to someone- Make an appointment with a doctor, a counselor, a therapist… there are so many ways of seeking help- there is no reason to suffer in silence.
There are people out there who understand.
There ARE people (like me) out there who are fighting every day to make sure that the stigma is erased and we don’t have to feel ashamed.
There is never anything wrong with admitting you have a problem- but there is something wrong with people who want to use those admissions to hurt you.
For more of my blogs on Depression- Please see the category cloud on the right hand side of the computer screen.